A New Ed in Town
by VikingBoyBilly
Summary: This is the first chapter of A New Ed in Town.  Or maybe just a first segment, as the whole story may be small enough to be consolidated into a single entity.  New neighbors have moved into the Cul de sac, and strange things are happening.


It was another hot summer day in the Cul de sac. It had been a few years since Ed Edd n Eddy returned from their last adventure finding Eddie's brother in the Ed Edd n Eddy movie. The Cul De Sac kids were in high school now. As you know, Eddie had turned a new leaf by the end of the movie. He became a nice guy who didn't need to scam the other kids for quarters and he found happiness not in jawbreakers, but in the friends he had around him, who now accepted him. Since Ed and Double-dee were only ostracized by association with Eddie, they quickly became accepted by their peers in the cul de sac as well. Their characters had blossomed from the socially awkward, slapstick nitwits they once were and became well-rounded, mentally sound teenagers on the verge of adulthood. The Eds were no longer dorks. But of course, they still retained their old signature traits. Eddie, while not a jerk, was still a loudmouth. Double-dee never stopped wearing the sock on his head. The lovable Ed was still a talking B-movie dictionary with an unhealthy fixation with gravy and toast smothered in butter. Although Eddie was never a fan favorite and was now redeemed as a character, unfortunately, it was his crazy scams that drove the plot of every episode. So, naturally, the series ended.

And that entire paragraph was a horrid display of telling without showing, because the omniscient narrator is too lazy to show these changes with anything that takes more effort than brisk yet boring exposition.

The kids grew up together in the Cul de sac, but two memorable faces from the old days were absent. Johnny 2x4 and by extention, Plank, moved out of the cul de sac with their parents and haven't been seen since. The 2x4 house stood lonely, empty, gathering dust for the seemingly eternal months it had been left unoccupied. Sometimes Rolf and Jimmy would stand in the backyard and regale tales of their urban scout troop with Plank and Johnny.

On one hot summer night, Eddie was tossing in bed in a sweat, unable to stand the heat. As he was about to finally drift into sleep, the loud rumble of the tires of heavy vehicles running across the pavement jarred him awake and a light beamed through his window. He looked outside and saw moving vans driving to the 2x4 house. This show has no fourth wall, so Eddie spoke to himself out loud, "Someone must be moving in!" Eddie tripped over his own Pjs running running out of his house. "I gotta tell the guys!"

Double-dee was looking into a microscope, working delicately on a toaster and a broken alarm clock with tweezers, when a loud rapping on his window made him jump in a panic, dropping everything he was working on to the floor and breaking it. He heard a familiar, grating yell. "Double-Dee! Get out here will ya!" It was Eddie. Of course.

"Eddie," Double-Dee groaned, "can't you see I'm working here?"

"Tell me all about it, DaVince. We got new neighbors."

"Really?" Double-Dee went outside to meet Eddie and saw the moving vans parked at the 2x4 house. Double-dee wiped away his tired, grumpy, overworked expression and was now beaming. "A new addition to the cul de sac! Why, Eddie, greeting our new neighbors is a wonderful idea to welcome them and warm them up to the local community. They must feel like strangers here, and a good first impression is key to forging good relationships."

"Whatever, sockhead," said Eddie. "I just want to scope out if these people are weirdos. Who would want to live the 2x4 house? It's a dump. Let's go get Ed."

Ed was snoring in the basement, with his hand hanging over the bed lightly gripping a comic book. His red hair had grown out and looked very becoming. He heard a knocking on his window. A voice whispered, "Ed." Ed jumped out of bed and screamed, "My dream has come true! The buttered toast fairy is here! Oh please, buttered toast fairy, I left you a present under my pillow." Ed reached under his pillow and pulled out a long ladle, dripping with gravy. "Buttered toast please!"

"Come on, lumpy!" Ed looked out his window and saw Eddie with Double-Dee. "Oh, hi guys!" Ed lunged at the window, squeezing himself through.

The Eds were standing outside the 2x4 house and saw people moving furniture out of the van into the house. They saw two people step out of a car parked near the garage. It was dark, so they couldn't see them clearly. All they saw of these people were silhouettes. A barrel-chested man and a slender woman. Double-Dee was about to walk over to give them a cul de sac welcome when the woman looked back at him with red, gleaming eyes. Double-Dee froze. His eyes widened and a chill ran down his spine. "What's the matter, sockhead?" Eddie tried to get his friend to regain his composure, but then he saw the red, glowing eyes. His feet were firmly planted to the street and, for once, Eddie was left speechless. In Ed's mind, they were in the presence of a mutated potato zombie that wanted to make human french fries. The shadowy, mysterious couple held hands and went into the house. The Eds ran home.


End file.
